ThatsMyJAM90/FlavorMeDope Sweetest Day contest winners…

Yesterday we took our talents downtown Flint to meet up with half of the winning couple…Bae had to work, we understand..

Symphani, Stanay, and I met up with Tamia and her son Mase to give her the winning prize! Six pack of Cookies and Cream cupcakes made with all kinds of love! She was definitely excited for the sweet treats for her and Thomas to share (Maybe) today…

The other judges and myself decided to pick Tamia mainly because she has to deal with Thomas and she loves to do so! Tamia submission wasn’t your classic “I saw him at the bar and I knew right then and there he was bae” entry… Her submission touched briefly on her toxic previous relationship and said how Thomas decided that he gave no fucksabout the guards she’d put up he kept on tryin her until….. well he got her!…

We got the chance to meet their famous son “Mase Dawg” a.k.a Blue Ivy Little Brother … He was seemingly turned down which is unusual, we usually see him in rare form on social media! Mase has just as much personality as his mother and father!

Happy Sweetest Day to our winning couple! Tamia and Thomas!

Check out a snippet of her submission:

I never would have thought I could love again after being in a toxic relationship. The saying is Never say never right? I finally broke free from that relationship and that’s when my guards were at attention 24/7 typical scorned female right, anywho Thomas said fuck them guards and continuously flirted with me via fb. I eventually gave in and let my guards down.

Look at the personality shine through in the photo she sent in, gotta love it!

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In Honor of Fathers Day…. R.V Mickens

“… You showed me love was all you needed… Heaven couldn’t wait for you…”

I remember coming over every other weekend after my moms and pops split… My dad felt like he had to work overtime to provide for us. He worked hard too almost three jobs… He was the Original Julius from Everybody hates Chris

My dad would pick us up on Fridays at 6pm and he’d take us to our grandparents house. We’d love to go over there, our granny would bake for us, we’d play games and she was a retired school teacher so we played school even & our Papa would give us anything we wanted from food to shoes… We’d get money for our good report cards… They had this really big porch and on nice days sitting out there after we got ice cream or slurpees or going to the park….. I’d swing and slide while my older brother played basketball with the other boys. When I got bored I’d go find my papa, he’d be reading a newspaper and smoking his cigarettes. I’d sit by him and watch my brother play basketball….

We use to try to hide his cigarettes once we figured out they weren’t really any good for him. But he’d always either find them or buy more and the cycle would start all over again…

Papa wasn’t into going to church but he had a Holy Bible that you could tell was well read it was so torn up.. He believed in God. He never stopped my granny from going to church. Or from taking us along… He use to ask me about my dreams and what I wanted to be… Those dreams went from being a boxer to being a singer to wanting to help people… But he was down with them all! When I wanted to be a boxer he’d hold his hands up and let me practice my punches… When I wanted to be a singer he’d have my granny record us singing all type of songs just to play them back later …. And when I wanted to help people well…

Papa got secretly sick at some point. Him being the man he was he didn’t want to go to the doctor. Like a lot of men .. One day we went over and he got light headed and stumbled up the porch stairs… It seemed like I blinked my eye and he was in the hospital bed at Hurley with a catheter in his bald head it looked so painful and so uncomfortable. For the first time I seen my papa and he was not talking… That was the first time I saw my brother cry since we were kids and the first time I’d EVER seen my dad cry at ALL which made me all kinds of emotional…He had a brain aneurysm..He went from Hurley hospital to Mclaren Hospital… Still not responsive.. Then he went into a nursing home maybe mid or the end of January 2009….

February 2009 papa died… This was one of thee hardest things I’d ever encountered… He was one of the men who was a reminder as to what I need to look for in my future husband. He taught me to dream, he taught me to have standards… Hell he spoiled me… I always felt like there wasn’t men made like my grandfather anymore… He was a great provider, protector and he loved his family…

In Honor of Fathers Day coming I wanted to write something in memory of him… He played a very important part in my life. I learned a lot from him while he was here and even more in hind sight. I can only pray that whomever I spend the rest of my life with treats me how he treated his wife and family… I love you Papa… Rest in Peace R.V Mickens

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The thing about such betrayal…

So as of late I’ve noticed a lot of shady things that have transpired around me. And me and some friends have discussed these things.. The main topic just so happens to deal with dating or relationships. Allow me to travel off subject just to come back to my point for a second ..

We often say or talk about losing friends in life and making changes. Those things aren’t always going to be cut and dry situations. The friends we lose aren’t always going to be the new ones. The things we have to change aren’t always going to be the things we didn’t like anyways… We are going to have to dead some deeply rooted friendships and we are going to end up changing some things and situations we’ve become attached to.. That’s how life works.. That’s what allows us to flourish..

Now to the dating/relationship betrayal I’ve witnessed from other parties… Say you are dating a guy/girl for a good while ( a year or more) and for whatever reasons you break up and sometime down the line one of your friends begin to see this guy/girl that was once yours… You’d feel betrayed 8 times out of 10… And that’s fine… But look at it this way after it’s all said and done you loved the person you dated and you love your former friend (I’m sure that friendships dead) so since love isn’t selfish why not just be happy for them instead of the ladder? Or the norm of being mad? … Of course it’s wrong by you but when you love people you want them to ultimately be happy. And you were and are done with the ex… If he/she makes your former friend happy let it be… Now of course your going to hurt or feel some type of way for a while and that’s fine it’s just making you better for later..

I’m almost certain some of you feel as though I’m trippin. I’m not trippin you’re just too emotional for your own good. I’m not making an excuse for anyone to be a sucky friend. What I’m doing is trying to convince you to sticking to your guns of being a good friend. Unconditional love says I want you to be happy, ownership says your mine… In friendships we need to practice unconditional love just as we do in monogamous relationships. You die to your selfishness daily to make the other person comfortable… We have to learn to remain true to the thing we say we are… And in sticky situations like the one stated in the previous paragraph we can’t bend or change our character just because everyone doesn’t operate with the same beliefs and values as us…

This was literally just a very random thought that made perfect sense to me. I decided to share to see what other peoples opinions are on such subject matter… Feel free to comment or drop me a tweet (@JodAyE_Dukes) or and email (thatsmyjam90@gmail.com) for further discussion… πŸ’‹

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Sowing seeds of discord….

A few days ago I was having a conversation about how tv is changing the quality of life that people are living… There is so many reality Tv shows that show way more negative thing thn they do positive and people are watching those shows and making those people’s issues and problems their issues and problems…

Not Everybody!

So don’t come at me all I don’t! or that’s not true! it’s true and maybe it isn’t everybody but it’s a lot of people who do…

LastNight I was on twitter and I saw Necole Bitchie tweet a link for a post she wrote on a video Tyrese made talking about this very subject. I couldn’t agree more with him…

Here’s the video link to watch his take on the matter:
http://youtu.be/9KBKGG1h5J4

I’m not ever telling you what to watch or what to do, but what I am telling you is to protect your happiness and your situation from all things that shift or alter your mood into a place that isn’t happiness, growth, prosperity and truth…

Jordyn Anese πŸ’œ

Advice from Jordyn Anese πŸ’œ

I was asked sometime ago from a woman I use to work with

Am I shallow or wrong for wanting a man that looks good?

My response to this for all women/men who happen to have the same questions is:

No. You’re never wrong for wanting the person you devote your time in to be attractive. However when I say that I mean attractive to you not to everybody else. If you are looking for everybody to approve the look of you guy/girl you’ll lose every time. I think you should like to look at the person in which you’re with. And never let someone who’s interested in you make you feel like you’re single because you don’t share their interest. Sometimes that’s the case and others not so much. Do what works for you when it comes to dating and deciding who you spend your time with or not

Love Always
Jordyn Anese πŸ’œ

And if you love me, let it be beautiful…. (Video Blog)

http://youtu.be/O3i4Gh4a8M8

1 John 4:18 ESV
[18] There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:12 ESV
[12] No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

1 Corinthians 16:14 ESV
[14] Let all that you do be done in love.

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV
[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

1 Timothy 1:5 ESV
[5] The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 MSG
[1] If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. [2] If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. [3-7] If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. [8-10] Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. [11] When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. [12] We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! [13] But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Valentines Day as I remember….

I can remember the first romantic thing someone did for me… It was on valentines day…

I was in High school and My valentine was away at college… Maybe forty five mins away from me but still away from me. I wondered how that day would end up. Or if that day would even turn out to be anything special. I found myself accepting the fact that valentines day due to our circumstances would be

Just another day

Not to mention he didn’t think of it as a big deal anyway.

I got to school that morning and as the day went on I saw other girls with bears as big as me. Balloons and flowers. Cards and candy… Because I had truly accepted the fact that my valentine wasn’t around I was happy for those girls I thought

Every woman deserves to be surprised on Valentines day

A little later my cousin Ashley came and got me out of class with a security guard and I’m like

Awww shit they done caught me skipping class!

When we got to the front of the school I looked up and my valentine had sent me pink flowers, a pink bear, a card, and some candy… I remember the card saying “Happy Valentines Day booder, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but I wanted to do something for you”…. He had his best friend bring everything to my school… I think I might’ve cried but I was thee happiest girl in the world! He’d pulled off this surprise without even hinting anything to me ever!

That was an amazing moment .. It wasn’t because of the gifts, it was all about the thought behind it and gesture. I’d only seen things like that happen on TV, it hadn’t happened to me before and I honestly never expected it to…. But in that moment for that moment he was thee MAN. I don’t think he understood how much that meant to me back then.. I felt loved, thought of, appreciated, wanted…

Every good woman deserves moments like that!

Happy Valentines Day

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