Accept, Forgive, Grow…..

For days I’d been battling with what to write next. What should I post. Tossed around a few topics.. Today I thought about when I did the interview with spotlight radio Sunny asked me what my site was about. I highlighted the music artist and supporting them more thn anything else and a long time supporter and great friend of mine told me she was disappointed because I didn’t mention the experiences I’d dealt with that I wrote about. I left out the personal stories that helped so many people including her.. And that struck a cord in me made me kind of question if I needed to go back to that…

A while ago someone who shouldn’t see me in a sexual light came to me in a a suggestive manner.. I was much younger thn I am now and this man was older much older so I was intimidated to say the least. Nothing physical transpired but the words and passion behind what he expressed scared me. I remember thinking:

This is not happening

Unfortunately it was happening. .. The very first person I told laughed, like no lie he really laughed at me so after that I felt like no one would believe me. However a friend helped me out gave me a shoulder to cry on.

I remember being told not to tell people about it because people would think I provoked this man but what I wore or how I acted.. So even though I didn’t do anything suggestive around him due to respect.. I never said anything to more than who knew in the moment.

This particular situation was hard to forgive. The thought of “this isn’t suppose to be happening” caused me to rationalize why it happened, when the why is not what mattered. Then I decided that there was a lot of time that had passed and I need to be over it so I forced it. I pretended to be cool and to be over it but I wasn’t.. Finally behind closed doors I literally broke down, seeing as I spend a lot of time alone no one knew about it.. After that I accepted that it happened to me and silenced the the extra thinking. I began to pray about it and to process through every emotion without rationalizing them or asking God why it had to happen to me.. And today I’m at a point where I can speak on it without feeling in denial and knowing that who I am or who I was at the time had nothing to do with why this man felt like his actions were ok..

Forgiveness is truthfully never about the other person.. When you forgive somebody it is for you. If I didn’t know that before I know that now.. No shade to the person you have to forgive but that person moves on with their life while you decide to not accept and forgive.. The process is not easy but it’s worth it and it’s essential for growth and going to the next level….

Forgiveness is something that’s not a very easy process. I find that it hadn’t been easy for me because I tend to avoid that acceptance needs to come first.. Instead of accepting that this event happened and how I actually feel about it, I have a habit of rationalizing the why of a situation and trying to embody how I think I should feel… That’s never good.. You have to accept that a situation occurred first, then there’s the acceptance of that raw feeling you got when it happened after all of that comes true ability to forgive and heal. I shared this experience with hopes that it would help someone else allow themselves a chance to forgive, live freely and grow…

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Sharing a bit much…

Last week I posed the question to my social media:

Why is it that men will make they girl sound like a tough pill to swallow on social media? But when they do something sweet it’s hardly ever mentioned?

For example a common man tweet will be like “My girl stay tryna argue”… Or “Maaannn this brat shit is for the birds”… But never will you see anything about the big Sunday dinner, or the dope as birthday surprise… I follow a lot of men on social media and I don’t really see much about their women but the women I see (even myself from time to time) “Loving bae” or “He’s perfect”…. The flip side to that is women post about the good and bad and look mad unstable too

Anyways I posed that question on social media and I got these responses:

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While everyone is entitled to their own opinions I wasn’t moved by those responses. So I asked a few friends

One of them said:

Because y’all suppose to do sweet shit

In which yea no whatever lol

But the other took a different approach, one in which I could dig and respect.

It depends on the kind of man you’re dealing with. One type of man will do things like that to get the attention of the lurking women who are secretly waiting … But a real man does it because women being a brat or wanting their way and women naggin or wanting to talk about something at an inconvenient time is a universal trait yall share and its a struggle we all have with yall at one time or another. That leads the men who are watching our lady to believe that she’s no different then the ones they can readily have. And that allows us to keep our treasure. We know our woman is dope but they don’t need to know what she does to be so dope or worth keeping.

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This response moved me, the conversation as a whole moved me because it embodies the truth. If you want to keep your treasure you definitely wouldn’t tell other people where it is..

Feel free to comment or share your opinion on this topic!

Black~ish

This week was the week of great TV…

A new show Black~ish premiered Wednesday night on ABC.. Naturally I missed it doing my hair. However I got the chance to watch it Friday evening once I got relaxed after work.

I must say it’s great to see Joan (Tracy Ellis Ross) back on TV. But the show as a whole was good…

I think it will give other races a chance to see how it is to be a successful African American who came from a rough background. I even think that it is race friendly, it will allow other races to tune in and see how we feel when certain situations occur. It won’t speak for everyone but it will set the tone differently then not so reality TV has over the years.. No shade to reality TV I gets my fix sometimes too.. Shows like this gives us a chance to see a successful African American family and it gives hope which is always good.. I look forward to this season of Black~ish

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Souled Out … Just a bit…

Less thn a week ago singer Jhene Aiko released her album Souled Out.. With any hesitation I downloaded it on my iTunes and immediately began to listen to it..

The overall album is a very beautiful work of art. You can tell that’s she’s in a place of peace and reminiscing with this particular album when you hear the melodies and beats to each track. All of them in which have a real chill and serene sound to it… From start to finish I approve this album

I’m not going to go all in and review all of the songs just a few personal favorites.. Starting with:

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Remember

This song is clearly about a break up, but the after math… Reminding the ex of who they were in the relationship. Making sure that they know to tell everybody the whole truth, not just that I might’ve been crazy.. Tell em about the things you lied about… Making sure they know, I don’t hate you it’s just messed up that things didn’t really work out..

With lyrics such as:

Do you remember who you were to me?.. Cuz I do

Tell all the homies that you’re the one to blame, and when you speak my name. I’d like you to explain the lies you told me

Now you coming back?.. Second chance? Fuck all that… You gave her what we had yet there’s no love lost here

Blue Dream

This song has to be related to a love interest who made you see life in very different way. You know that person who taught you something? The one that gave you experiences that you’ll never forget?.. That one that was sooo ideal.. The to good to be true love.. The one you dream about

With lyrics such as:

My mind has opened so wide since you came inside

We were coasting on the coast when you open my eyes make me notice where ocean was holding the sky

It seems that you are the truth itself cuz nothing else can take me so far

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Promise

This is a sing for mothers with children who work hard to provide for them and want to just make them proud.. Who wouldn’t love this song? And her daughter sings apart of the song

With lyrics such as:

I been coming home late night, I been sleeping pass day light

Promise you’ll be alright if anything should happen

Mommy really needs you, and I will never leave you

I am go make you so proud and you don’t ever have to worry about me

Seeing as I can over do it a tad when it comes to the music I really love I purchased the deluxe version.. There are many more great songs to choose from on this album. And the songs I decided to give a small description to have way more to offer… I think Jhene Aiko really has something here with this album, it depends on what place you are in. But there’s at least one song to strike a nerve for every woman and maybe even men as well…

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Souled Out

Spotlight radio interviewed me today

Monday 9.8.14 I was on my lunch break and I received a phone call… From a young man from Spotlight Radio.. Sunny Freeman

Sunny was calling to talk to me about my website and also to offer me the grand opportunity to be featured on his live podcast. And I accepted. It was such an honor to be noticed for what I love to do.

So today at 10:30 it all happened here: http://www.spreaker.com/user/spotlightradio/morning-buzz-09-10-14?autoplay=1

I was very nervous during the interview. Though nobody on this earth knows me better thn I do, I was still shaking like a strippa on the other end of the phone while Sunny asked me questions….

My interview starts right after the “Hottest in the city” track which is pretty hot if I do say so myself…

I do owe Roneeka Simone Brown an apology for not remembering her first name when talking about the play this Saturday! I always see her name I’d just heard someone call her R. Simone Brown.. I apologize..

Thank you goes to Sunny Freeman and spotlight radio for the opportunity

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You should wanna taste this… #FlavorMeDope

All of my friends are blessed with amazing talents and gifts. But one of them is blessed and highly flavored!

My friend Symphani McNeal has been my friends for about 7years now and we’ve always been expressive with one another about our dreams and future plans. While mine probably had a lot to do with love and relationships.. Hers had more to do with her love for music and cooking.. Symphani and I always related well when it came to music, she’d put me on some dope music and I in return would do the same for her.. But cooking has been hers all by herself. I can cook but Symphani is all into it presentation of meals and all..

About a year or so ago we sat at Barnes and Nobles and discussed our dreams and how we want our futures to play out in great detail.. And at this present moment I’m proud to say that she has made a grand step in the correct direction…

Her amazing cupcakes are now in a restaurant right here in Flint, Mi…
You can try her

#FlavorMeDope

Cupcakes at Capitol Coney Island 4021 Van Slyke Rd, Flint,Mi 48507
The cost of them is $1.50
They are opened 24hrs!

To give you some visuals of her work:
Red Velvet:
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Raspberry with lemon cream cheese frosting:

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Reese’s Brownie(my fav) and Pineapple upside down:

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Special order white with strawberry frosting:

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To place special orders from Symphani herself send emails to

Colormedopeasap@gmail.com

It’s my anniversary!….

In September 2013 I transferred all of my post to my own domain from my blogspot account.

On September 12th 2013 I wrote my first new post on ThatsMyJAM90.com … Titled

Don’t knock the hustle

That day I had no idea that I would be at the place that I am now…

The purpose of this site was decided to be for dreamers and goal accomplishers.. I have a real love and appreciation for those who work hard for their dream and those who are very passionate for what they do. It’s something about the sparkle ✨ in someone’s eyes when they talk about what they love. So I decided to use my site to give them some exposure as well as spread some positivity around… No shade to other blog sites because I read some good gossip from time to time myself I just don’t want to spread it.

Since I’ve started I’ve been blessed to meet many people and get to know them and their dream. Most in which I’ve kept as friends and others I still do business with … Writing is something that allows me an outlet my site gives me a place to say what I want how I want when I want… And to me that important… The interviews I conduct with people are the most fulfilling thing about the site. As I said before getting to know people’s dream and goals is something you can put a price on.

Right now I thank God for the 8,000 plus views I have gotten in this year. To some that isn’t a lot but to a woman such as myself it means the world 🌍…

This is only the beginning… Even greater things to come

To purchase a ThatsMyJAM90 baseball Tshirt for $20 email ThatsMyJAM90@gmail.com
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For interviews email ThatsMyJAM90@gmail.com place Interview Inquiry in the subject line and for advertisement place Advertisement inquiry in the subject line

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